Self Portrait June 26, 2009
Posted by Emily in : Beauty, My Handsome Husband, Parenthood, Photography, Saba , trackbackI had to shoot a self-portrait for an assignment. This did not make sense to me on many levels. Photographers like to be BEHIND the lens not in front of it! Needless to say, this was a stressful assignment.
These pictures were taken ALL BY MY LONESOME, with no help. Do you know how hard it is to focus the camera when it doesn’t know exactly where to focus? If you move one centimeter in front of or behind where you focused the camera, the image will be all out of whack.
Trust me, I had enough ghetto photos to prove this theory.
What I’m trying to say, is that not only did I shower, shave my legs, give myself a mask, paint my toes, pull this dress out of storage, steam it, put on make-up, and do my hair, but I set up the picture and shot it ALL BY MYSELF.
I did four different concepts for this shoot, and I’m posting images from shoot number four. Trust me, the first three concepts were GAG. In fact, I deleted all but two images from my first three attempts.
What to do, what to create, what story to tell, what image to put across . . .
I asked my husband of 12 years what he thought I should do. What represents me? Who am I? He smiled and said, “Sweetie, if you don’t know who you are, then you have a bigger problem than coming up with an idea for your self-portrait!”
This got me to think. I feel like I’m in limbo between two different worlds. One world I refer to as my “previous life” and one world I refer to as my “current life.”
In my previous life, the one where I had a career, worked hard, and got paid for it, we owned a bridal store. I designed bridal and formal gowns and traveled to Asia several times working with top designers. It was common for me to appear on Good Morning Texas promoting new lines, or modeling formal wear at Dallas Market Hall. I produced and emceed hundreds of fashion shows in several states, and it was usual for me to attend a black tie event weekly.
After several years in this profession, we sold our store, house, and cars, and moved to the Caribbean so David could attend medical school.
Not only did I leave a career I enjoyed, and a home I loved, but we moved out of the country to live on a tiny five square mile island called Saba in the Dutch West Indies. Shortly before moving, I found out I was pregnant with our first child.
My life changed 180 degrees! The Caribbean is the one place in the world that can make anyone “stop and smell the roses”. Having a child on top of that teaches you that you can’t always have a rigid schedule. In a nut shell, I chilled out a LOT.
I’m no longer the fast talking, high paced, results-are-the-only-thing-that-matter woman.
I feel more balanced. I like who I’ve become. I have thoroughly enjoyed motherhood. But there are days I wish I had a plane to catch, some project to oversee, a new design to submit. Or heck, just a really good pay check for working hard at home.
Hopefully this explains my pictures.
I chose to sit on the stairs in my home, in a cocktail dress, (which I had to dig out of storage) with my children’s pictures behind me. I do hope the expression on my face conveys the feeling of being caught in the middle. Trying to find the balance of both worlds that make me who I am.
This second picture was just an extra. I liked it, but there is a little too much negative space.
Don’t expect many more self portraits in the future. This assignment was very stressful to execute and made me age 10 years. You all know how I feel about aging!
Comments»
Your pictures are wonderful…your inspiring me and I want to follow in your footsteps!
Very good work!
BEAUTIFUL!! Both “sides” of you!!!
LOVE LOVE THE STAIR PICTURES, BEFORE I EVEN READ THE BLOG PART, MY FIRST THOUGHTS WERE THE 3 JOYS IN HER LIFE AND THE PAST CAREER WOMEN!!!!! GREAT PORTRAIT. I ALSO LIKE THE MIRROR ONE THE ONLY THING A MISS IN THAT WAS HANNAH PICTURE IN THE BACKGROUND; SO RE-SHOOT THAT SCENE WITH ALL PICTURES IN IT. ANYWAY, GREAT WORK!!! KEEP IT UP!!!! I THINK YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR CALLING
I actually really like the second one…it seems to convey a lot of emotions. But I see how you are caught between two worlds. And its weird that no matter which world you exist…you still seem to be doing it wonderfully! Great shots BTW!!!
Very cool. I was going to say the same thing as Leigh–I also really liked the second shot too but noticed Hannah’s picture was hidden. And can I say you look gorgeous!! That dress is beautiful. It was fun to learn more about your career.
I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.
I totally understand how you feel. Sometimes I walk into a place (a school, a major store in the mall) and think, “If only these people knew that I could rock this joint” and then I go on my way. But it’s good to know that I have that proven ability. It’s also good to know I don’t have to do it any more. I think I’ve filled that space with writing, like you’re doing with photography.
Those portraits are beautiful, Emily. It’s always interesting to learn more about who you are, and I found David’s question to you to be very thought-provoking. Now that I think about it, do I know who I am? I hope so.
Wow. The. Lighting. Em. Ohhhh, the lighting in the first picture…..
They are both awesome. I am always so impressed by your use of light. Meter or not, it is fantastic. I cannot believe that you took the picture yourself. The mood is wonderful. The lighting is terrific. Your pose is perfect. I might love you!! LMAO.
Truly, great pictures. I like the second but agree that it seems a little off in the composition or something.
You’ll have to let us know what you get on your assignment. I bet it is an A+.
R/