The Cure for Sickness April 30, 2009
Posted by Emily in : Friends, Princess Hannah , 1 comment so farHannah woke up cranky.
Very unusual for her.
She said she was sick. Very sick. Too sick to eat lunch, or drink anything other than a chocolate shake.
Very sick indeed.
Then . . .
She looked out the back window and saw her friends having great time on this blowup slide.
Suddenly, she felt excellent! She was happy! EXCITED EVEN!
The moral of this story?
Good friends and fun can cure almost any sickness.
You Asked, and I Kind of Know What I’m Talking About April 29, 2009
Posted by Emily in : Photography, Princess Hannah, Thoughts , 4commentsThis post falls in the category of I-kind-of-know-what-I’m-talking-about. Unlike beautifying my home, people actually ask me for photography tips. Like I know what I’m doing . . .
Yes. Stop snickering. I don’t believe it myself. I don’t really know what I’m doing when it comes to taking pictures. I just learned how to get pictures off my SD card 18 months ago. I didn’t know what an SLR was three years ago, and I’m pretty sure I’d never said the word aperture, or ISO in my life until last year.
Basically, I’m really new at this. But I do love photography and I have learned a few tricks along the way.
Today, I thought I’d share some of my limited knowledge.
Anyone can take a snapshot. They all look like this:
Beautiful trail, darling subject, but it’s just so BLAH. Nothing catches your eye. The most common way people photograph children is standing up looking down on them. We see this angle of them all the time.
This is the S.O.O.C. (straight out of the camera) picture. This picture was taken right after the above photo. I crouched down to Hannah’s level to capture her and not all of her surroundings. You still get the idea that she’s walking on a trail or something, and enjoying her stick. You don’t need to capture everything in the photo, (the trees, grass, trail, rocks, sky, you name it!) just the emotion of the subject.
Now, every photographer uses Photoshop
There you have it! I plan to post actual tutorials later this summer. I’m taking my love of photography to a new level! This summer I’ll be taking online photography classes from The Academy of Art University located in San Francisco.
I’ll be able to share what I’ve learned without feeling like an idiot who has no idea what I’m talking about. Which is basically how I feel right now.
Why You Need a Dog April 28, 2009
Posted by Emily in : My Former Dog Children, My Handsome Husband , 2commentsAre you married? Do you have kids? Do you have a dog? Better yet, are you a first-time dog owner?
If you answered yes to all these questions, then . . .
YOU MUST SEE THE MOVIE MARLEY AND ME
Must!
David and I curled up on the couch with Paris (our dog for those of you who don’t know) and watched this. It made us laugh, cry, (okay, so I think I’m the only one that cried, but I cried enough for the both of us) and think about how much we love Paris and our late dog Kyaha.
All the rotten things Marley does in the movie, Paris has done (which is why we call Paris a “stinker-dog”):
- Eaten so much dog food she got sick
- Destroyed shoes
- Eaten sheet rock (In three different houses mind you. Our place in Arizona, Texas, and Utah.)
- Chewed on our headboard
- Destroyed our comforter
- Puked in the car
- Tried jumping out of the car
- Run into the neighbor’s house (neighbors we had never seen or met) and introduced herself by licking them
But after all the rotten things she’s done, we still love her. Maybe even more than if she was just obedient all the time. It’s her curiosity, and love for life that makes it so easy to forgive.
Rent or buy the movie.
Get a dog (preferably a Whippet).
You’ll thank me later.
Six! Seven! It All Sounds the Same to Me April 27, 2009
Posted by Emily in : Asia, Memory Lane , 9commentsI know a girl named Seven. As in the number seven. She was my dress assistant when I worked as a fit model in Taiwan. She was so sweet and lovely, and spoke basic English pretty well with her soft low voice.
One day, after my skin felt like it would fall off my body if one more piece of fabric touched it, (she had helped me slide in and out of over 100 dresses that day) I asked her why her name was Seven.
Did you know that Asians who work primarily with Americans give themselves American names? Yeah, they just pick out a name that sounds nice to them, and name themselves.
This is why she is named, Seven.
Because some ill-informed Asian told her that the number Seven was a popular name.
I kept calling her Six (on accident) when she was so nice to take me to the world’s stinkiest night market to help me find make-up brushes. I yelled, “SIX!” several times above the loud hum of the crowded market to get her attention, and only after her non-response did I realize that the numbers six and seven don’t sound the same.
(Seven is on the left in the green shirt. She is the the only Asian in the photo which might give her away too. . .)
Moral of the story:
Don’t name your kid after a number.
If I Were in Charge April 24, 2009
Posted by Emily in : Daily Life, Exercise , 9commentsOnce, when I was working out with Denise Austin, (on TV of course, I don’t actually know her) she said, “You can’t store fitness, you only store fat!” David and I started P90X
It’s kind of depressing to think about all the things we do daily that we have to do again, and again, and again.
Honestly.
I just want to say, “Hey, I worked out once like five years ago. Don’t bother me about it again!”
So, if I were in charge, I’d make the following permanent changes: (And please, don’t over analyze this, you critical thinkers. I don’t want lots of emails telling me how this would NEVER work because the world would self-destruct or something.)
- Moms would NEVER, EVER, EVER get sick.
- Fitness could be stored. No more of this working out day after day, after day.
- You could store sleep.
- Dinner would magically make itself.
- When you cleaned the house, it stayed that way. FOREVER.
- Once you shaved your legs, they never needed to be shaved again.
- Taxes only happened once a lifetime.
- That no matter what, I’d always have more Facebook friends than David. Always.
This would make my life 1000% easier.
Cheap Thrills April 23, 2009
Posted by Emily in : Daily Life, Family, Kansas, Little Man Dallin, My Handsome Husband, Princess Hannah , 2commentsDavid came home early today. As in early, I mean by like an hour. Do you know what you can do with an extra hour? Take a nap, take a shower, make dinner, watch a TV show, get a pedicure, and so much more. Honestly, the options are endless.
We had heard about a FREE petting farm in our city called Deanna Rose Farmstead and decided to check it out. With only 30 minutes to spend there before it closed, this is what we saw:
I don’t live on a farm, so I don’t know what these are exactly. I’m no Pioneer Woman you know.
They sure looked thrilled to see us. That’s for sure.
This little dude was a cutie. I think he thought I was cute too. Judging his body language, he either wanted to kiss me or bite the lens off my camera. I’m not sure.
These guys were deep in conversation when we arrived. They were spreading some BIG gossip about the farm. BIG.
The Bald Eagle. I felt so patriotic when I saw it. I almost broke out into the Pledge of Allegiance, and the National Anthem.
This horse was very, very, into his food. It must have been more appetizing than the McDonald’s we ate for dinner.
Hannah was thrilled with everything.
EVERYTHING.
Including the Prairie Dogs.
In fact, I the whole family enjoyed it.
Except for this guy. His expression didn’t change once from this look.
It takes a little more than a few farm animals to get him excited.
Brace Yourselves, This Might Shock You April 22, 2009
Posted by Emily in : Little Man Dallin , 6commentsThis little guy needed a haircut.
BAD.
I’m not really into the shaggy-hair-over-the-ear-look, so it was high time for Dallin to get his first haircut.
Now, I know my little guy. I know he doesn’t like strange, loud, vibrating things touching him. I was gearing myself up mentally to deal with his reaction.
But . . .
I was clearly not prepared for this reaction:
You’d think he was watching a parade at Disneyland.
Honestly.
But doesn’t our Little Man Dallin look so dapper with his new do?
I think so.
But I am his mother, which obviously infers that I am very biased. 
I Swear, I Don’t Ride the Short Bus April 21, 2009
Posted by Emily in : Daily Life, Family, Kansas , 1 comment so farTonight, I left the house on a mission to return something to Walmart. Instead of driving directly there, I followed my nose for a while.
I ended up at the Dollar store.
Which, is sort of concerning if you think about it.
Me. Driving around. All by myself. And I end up at the Dollar store?
Somebody, PLEASE, find the old Emily and return her PROMPTLY to Kansas!
While I was wandering around the store for no reason, shopping for nothing in particular, I came across a book that caught my eye: “The Beauty of Color
I took a triple take when I saw the book. A dollar? Really? Impossible. I remembered when the book came out three years ago. A dollar? Price check? Anyone? Hello? The book says it’s $29.95.
Which brings me to the ultimate point of this post.
When my younger sister was in high school, she worked at a Dollar store (which, was probably the last time I was in the aforementioned store). Her favorite all-time story from that lovely place of employment was the time a clerk got on the loud speaker and and asked in all honesty, “Price check!”
Ahem.
Everything is one dollar. Just one dollar.
So, tonight as I looked at my soon to be purchased book, questioning its price, I could hear my sister laughing in my ear.
I knew if she were there, she would secretly be trying very, very, hard NOT to ask me if I rode the short bus.
I Can Only Guarantee Clean Hands April 20, 2009
Posted by Emily in : Parenthood, Princess Hannah, Thoughts , 2commentsWarning: Potty Talk ahead!
Some of you have emailed asking for more specifics of how I potty trained Hannah. Since I have only potty trained one child, (who was text book easy when the timing was right) I pretty much have no idea what I’m talking about when it comes to this subject.
Now that I’ve cleared the air . . .
Please read the following with a big grain of salt.
Let’s move on to today’s topic: Potty training
Well, in my very limited experience, this is my advice:
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE:
Your kid has to be ready.
End of story.
After your kid is ready, there are a few pointers I’d like to share:
First off , you need several potty’s. A potty topper (or whatever they’re called) in every bathroom. And a portable potty in the room they play in most. Once your kid gets the hang of “the potty sensation” you will have five seconds MAX to get them on the potty for success! (no pressure or anything!)
It’s okay for them to have accidents. The uncomfortable feeling of wet pee on their leg will motivate them. It sure did Hannah! (And don’t worry, they do learn to hold their pee, and you will have more than five seconds when they start doing the “potty dance.”)
On the first few days of training, let them run around in their panties/underwear and a shirt. NO PANTS. This will allow easy on and off access as you both get used to running to the potty. Give them a towel to sit on while they play on the ground or on your furniture.
It takes about 20 minutes after you give them liquid to register that they need to pee. Trust me, just take them to the potty, even if they don’t think they need to go! Have lots of fun things like special activity books, books, and treats for the potty!
Make the bathroom a party! Balloons, streamers, toys, books, etc! Make the potty room just as fun as the play room! (Which is why a lot of kids refuse to be potty trained. They would rather pee in their diaper than stop playing. But . . . if the bathroom was just as enticing . . . you get the idea.)
After a couple days, they will get the hang of it, and they should start having dry nights. Even though Hannah has dry nights, I still put a diaper on her to sleep because I am neurotic. Maybe after a month of dry nights, I’ll quit.
Potty training is not suggested right after a major move, or right after a baby. But, we just had a major move six weeks ago and Hannah did great. There is no way I could have potty trained her right after Dallin was born. NO FREAKING WAY.
Peer pressure works wonders. Hannah has two friends on our street that are four, and potty trained. Hannah was embarrassed about her diaper, so she was ready. THANK GOODNESS FOR PEER PRESSURE! 
Okay, now I know this process can be SUPER frustrating. This is the third time we tried to potty train. The first time, right before she turned two, neither Hannah or I were ready. We tried again at Christmas, and she definitely wasn’t ready. Then, it just naturally happened a few weeks ago.
Keep in mind that BOTH of you need to be ready.
Also, I try to keep this quote in my head when Hannah has an accident: You cannot make someone do better by making them feel worse. I have to repeat this again and again when I get frustrated. Cleaning up pee is not my favorite thing.
I cannot guarantee your kid will be potty trained after this, I can only guarantee one thing:
All this going to the potty business will make for very clean little hands.
The Post Where I Reveal A Little Too Much April 17, 2009
Posted by Emily in : Asia, Daily Life, Kansas, Princess Hannah, Texas , 7commentsNot all food tastes the same all over the world. Really. When I was in Taiwan, we ordered a combination pizza from Domino’s. (Which, by the way, is NEVER a good idea when in a foreign country) Sounds safe, right? It came with corn, shrimp, and broccoli on the top.
NOT KIDDING.
I’m a quick learner. I now know NOT to order American food in Asia because is just doesn’t taste right.
But . . .
Did you know that Doritos and Coke and all other beverages and chips taste slightly different too? Okay, the word slightly might not be a strong enough word.
I’m not a Coke drinker. I’m a Dr. Pepper girl. But, I’m pretty sure Dr. Pepper isn’t available in Asia because all I could find was Coke. Now I know Coke and D.P. are TOTALLY different, but I would order a Coke in lieu of my unavailable preferred drink.
Like I said, I’m not a Coke drinker, but I do know that Coke in the USA DOES NOT taste like Coke in China.
Please don’t argue and offend my discriminating taste buds.
Now, I have a concerning secret to share . . .
I still have an unopened Coke can from Taiwan from like four years ago.
This is weird. Tell me this is weird.
It’s unopened, and after all this time, the longer is goes unopened, the more I can’t bring myself to do it.
Now, I’m not sure what’s more concerning:
- That this Coke is older than Hannah
- That this Coke traveled all the way from Taiwan to Kansas by way of Texas
- That this Coke can sat in storage for three years
- That the mini-bar in the hotel I got this from charged me $5 for this one measly can
- That it’s still unopened
Pam? Do want this?
