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Lesson Learned October 10, 2008

Posted by Emily in : Daily Life, Family, Little Man Dallin, My Handsome Husband, Princess Hannah, Thoughts , 2comments

Many of you know I have a child that laughs a lot and a child that cries a lot.  After over analyzing my children to death, I think I’ve learned why each child was sent to me.

Hannah was sent to me so I would FALL IN LOVE with motherhood.

Dallin was sent to me to UNDERSTAND motherhood.

Now that I’ve learned my lesson, maybe Dallin could be a happy little guy too?

Dallin Newsletter #2 October 9, 2008

Posted by Emily in : Daily Life, Family, Little Man Dallin, My Handsome Husband, Princess Hannah , 4comments

Dear Dallin,

You are now three months old.  You weigh around 16 pounds, maybe a little more.  We’ll find out your exact weight next month at the doctor.  Why do I mention this?  Because your dad and I WEAR you all day, and our backs are starting to feel it.  Please note the word WEAR is not the same as the word HOLD.  Most babies are held, but you much prefer to be worn.  How do we know this?  Because you stop crying almost instantly when we put you in the Sungli to be worn.  The lingo around the house has changed a bit.  We no longer ask, “Do you want me to hold Dallin now?”  We say, “Would you like me to wear him?”  You are the latest accessory our household.  Here’s the thing, we’re just trying to figure you out.  You have a very secret and complex pass code to your happiness and we (as in your parents) weren’t given the code.  We’re working on trying to decode you, but so far, we’ve only had a little luck.

I mentioned you loved to be worn.  Here’s the proof:

Grandpa Dennis and Dallin

Daddy and Dallin

Grandma Venetta and Dallin

When you fall into a deep sleep, we gently remove you from our person and lay you down.  Then we both hold our breath and whisper, and say silent prayers that you will stay asleep for at least 30 minutes.  That’s all we ask for, 30 minutes of sleeping by yourself.

Hannah loves you very much.  She is very aware of your moods, and she has categorized them into three categories: Dallin crying, Dallin eyes open, and Dallin sleeping.  You really are that simple right now.  I just wish the category of “Dallin crying” had an owners manual.

You sure are a handsome little guy, and we love to see you smile.  More than you’ll ever know.

You HATE, I repeat, HATE your car seat.  I’m going to go out on a limb and say you are probably one of the only babies in the world that HATES riding in a car seat.  At first, we thought maybe you just didn’t like your car seat, so we swapped it out and put you in Hannah’s pink infant seat (hey, I would let you ride in a pink car seat if it solved your screaming in the car problem) but you hated it just as much.  Your dad and I are pretty sure you could cry for 10 hours straight riding in the car.  You would never tire, and you most certainly would never end up asleep.  We know you can scream at the top of your lungs for three hours, and I really, really wish we didn’t know this.

You are having more and more happy awake time, and we are working really hard to help you be happier.  I know there is something going on in that little body of yours and you just can’t tell us.  Just know that we are trying lots of different things; we read everything we can about colicky babies, we have taken you to the pediatrician several times, and we take the advice/suggestions from other parents who have been in our situation.  Next up?  We’re taking you to a chiropractor.

So far, I can decipher your cries.  The only cry I cannot help is when you’re in pain.  I wish I knew where you hurt, and what causes you discomfort.

We’re positive your going to be super smart.  We literally have to put this eye mask on you to help you shut out the world.  You are very sensitive to the world around you, and very often get overstimulated.  We have high hopes you’ll turn a corner during your fourth month.

We love you, and know there is a happy little guy just dying to break out.  We look forward to seeing more of that little fella.

Love,

Mommy

Hannah Newsletter #10 October 7, 2008

Posted by Emily in : Princess Hannah, Thoughts , 1 comment so far

Dear Hannah,

You are now 26 months old.  We have entered the world of Disney movies, and honestly, I’m not sure how you survived before being introduced to The Twelve Dancing Princesses.  YOU LOVE IT.  YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT.  IT IS AS IMPORTANT TO YOU AS FOOD, OR TOYS, OR YOU KNOW, SLEEP.  Not only do you request to watch this show, but you HAVE to wear your ballet shoes and put a skirt on while you watch it.  However, it doesn’t stop there.  You also request that grandma and I (and daddy and grandpa if they are around) also put on a skirt and our ballet shoes (which we don’t own).  Obviously, we can’t dance along to the movie and twirl appropriately without being dressed properly.  Inevitably, you sucker us in and we dress up like princesses too.  You are very persuasive.  I’ve mentioned this before, but it is your secret talent.

We are still living in Utah near family and you have loved every second of it.  You especially love your aunt Rachelle and cousin Katie. They love to spend time with you and often tell me they need a “Hannah fix.”  This means they are addicted to you.  You are that cute you know.

You have latched on to the idea of “getting married” from your favorite ballet movie, The Twelve Dancing Princesses.  You talk about getting married, and you can positively identify married relationships.  Like you know that daddy and I are married, and both sets of grandparents, and you know who isn’t married to each other .  .   . like uncle Brian (my twin) and I are not married.  Did I mention you’re only two?  With this kind of observation, we have high hopes that you’ll be able to solve the economy crisis in the future.

Lately, your questions consist of: “Who’s that?” and “What’s that?” and “What’s your name?”  You also like to point out the obvious and say, “Somebody’s _____ (fill in the blank here).

The very sad day has come where you don’t call your cousin “FADANNA” anymore.  You actually call her Savannah, and you say it very clearly.  As much as I love your articulate speech, I miss your baby talk.  I still love the way you say el-fa-nants (elephants) and med-sin-nin (medicine).

Some of my other favorite phrases and words are:

Watch your toes!  Watch your hands!  Watch your feet!
Ecker-sizing (exercising)

For never and never and never (for ever and ever and ever)

Handsome Prince! (You are into Disney movies now)

Put your ballet shoes on!

Go shopping please?

Watch ballet please?

Put church on!  (put a church dress on)

‘Mantic!  (Romantic)

Nutter one (another one)

Dallin crying!

Dallin all better!

Straw-brary (Strawberry)

You are very polite.  Maybe too polite.  You walk around the house saying, “be careful!” and “I’m sorry!” and “excuse me!” in the correct context.  Every time you say one of these phrases, it plants a big smile on my face.

You are extremely observant and listen very intently to which instruments are playing when you hear music.  We listen to classical music in the car (it’s a coping measure for me to neutralize Dallin’s screaming, but I also love listening to classical music) and you are always pointing out when a flute, violin, piano, or guitar is playing.  I have found myself stopping and listening very closely to the music to hear what you hear, and sure enough you are right!  You are one clever little listener.  You are so intrigued with music.  You love to see people playing instruments, and you love to listen to it (and of course shake what your mama gave ya).  You are most interested in the violin, cello, and guitar.  You have so many interests, I don’t know how we’ll decide which lessons to enroll you in!

Did I mention you are obsessed with Dora?  BECAUSE YOU ARE.  A few days ago you threw a little stink about getting in the car to go over to grandma and grandpa’s house and when I mentioned that we would take your Dora backpack and Dora fork and spoon, you were all, DORA?  MY DORA STUFF?  Suddenly, your attitude changed and lickety split, we were in the car and off the see my parents.

I’m pretty sure you’re totally confused about your size.  Every day, you are told you are either too small (for things like going to the playground unsupervised) or too big (like when you want to take a bath in Dallin’s infant bath) or too heavy (like when you request to be carried all the time) or too small (like when you want to sit in the front seat of the car).  You often refer to yourself as “too heavy” or “too small.”  These two phrases must be said to you more often than not.  I would like to set the record straight right now:  You are perfect just the way you are;  You just might be too big or too small for some of things you want to do.

I have learned that toddler fashion has nothing to do with season specific style, fit, or trend.  All you care about is WHAT’S ON IT.  If your clothing has Dora, or Winnie the Pooh on it, YOU WILL WEAR IT.  My primary goal when buying your wardrobe is finding you clothing that has stuff on it. While I don’t think silk screen shirts are the cutest, what matters is that you WILL WEAR them without making a fuss.  And honestly, the point of clothing is to cover your body, and well, you’re wearing clothes.  Mission accomplished.

You are very opinionated about what you wear.  You LOVE to wear shorts, and demand to wear them every day, even when it’s cold outside.  I’m sure you’re wondering why we want you to wear pants.  Living in the Caribbean, you didn’t even own a pair of long pants, and now we suggest you wear them every day. I know you’re thinking, why pants?  Why now?  Why ever?  The answer is BECAUSE.  As you get older, you will find out that more often than not, the answer to most things parents suggest is BECAUSE.  Which roughly translates to: I don’t think you’ll understand;  I can’t put it into words; and I don’t know why.

You love to wear your pajamas.  I can’t blame you.  If I could get away with wearing them all day (like in public) I would too.  Unfortunately, moms are looked at as “dumpy” if they wear them all day, everyday, but kids are thought of as “cute” and this unpardonable sin as an adult is very easily overlooked and forgiven as a child.  Live it up now because you won’t be able to get away with this forever.

Have I mentioned how darling you are?  Your nature is so sweet and genuine.  EVERYONE that meets you is absolutely in love with you.  I used to think I had something to do with your mild disposition, but after having Dallin, I’m positive you just came as one easy going kid and I don’t know the first thing about parenting.

You are so loving to Dallin, you are an excellent big sister.  He is very lucky to have you, and so are we.  We love you!

Love,

Mommy

Not Wanting to be Left Out October 7, 2008

Posted by Emily in : Daily Life, Family, Little Man Dallin, My Handsome Husband, Princess Hannah, Thoughts , 2comments

We have a very heavy problem on our hands.  You have probably heard/read/seen how we keep our sanity around this house while Dallin screams.  WE WEAR HIM.



Hannah sees us carrying Dallin around ALL THE TIME and must have decided we must love to wear him because why else would you hold a baby all day?



Obviously trying to please us, she asked her daddy to carry her around in his backpack.  You know, so we could always be carrying a child around. Because we love it so much.



She is not picky when it comes to backpacks, so she’s happy to sit in her other backpack too.  She requested to wear these shades, (which are obviously too small) and refused to get out of this backpack for TWO HOURS.  Maybe this isn’t a bad thing; a lot of parents would love to strap their toddler down for a few hours.

I predict a future of aching backs for both of us.

He’s Cute, Even When He Cries October 6, 2008

Posted by Emily in : Daily Life, Family, Little Man Dallin, Princess Hannah , 3comments

You know it’s not good when your child’s pediatrician tells you every once in a while she sees a case of colic as severe as your baby’s.  It makes you wonder what you did to deserve to be in the small minority of mothers (and fathers) that get to listen to an ear curling scream much more often than other parents.

I recently read “The Secret’s of the Baby Whisperer” (Thanks for the recommendation Lindsay!) and I really wish the author would come to my house and work with my kid.  I really think something more is going on with him, and after several suggestions, I plan to take him to a chiropractor.  If you have any recommendations for a good baby chiropractor in the Utah County area, let me know.

Dallin seems to have turned a very small corner.  Instead of screaming the entire time he is awake, he screams half the time.  The other half is spent smiling, and cooing.  We are IN LOVE with his smile, and his cute talk.  We have high hopes that during his fourth month he will make significant progress, and feel better.  I’m DYING to start him on the Sleep Lady program (we started Hannah at four months and if sleeping was an Olympic sport for toddlers, she would take gold) but I know I can’t until he works through his medical issues.  For now, we have created sleep crutches (we hold him, rock him, and I even nurse him to sleep) that will need to be undone when we start the sleep training process.  But tonight I’m not going to worry about it because we are coping.  We are trying to survive and keep a positive attitude all while having our baby scream in our ears.

He is such a handsome little guy.  Even when he cries.





Look at those adorable eyes.  I just want to kiss that crying face, even if it just makes him more mad.  :)

Like an Outside Library October 5, 2008

Posted by Emily in : Daily Life, Family, Little Man Dallin, My Handsome Husband , add a comment

Remember how I said David and his dad golf every week?  They still do.  Come rain or shine, you can find these men every week on one of the many golf courses in Utah County.  Dallin and I tagged along a few days ago when they golfed one of their favorite courses, Talon’s Cove.  We like the outdoors, beautiful scenery, and to be with our dad/husband.  At the ripe old age of almost three months, this is Dallin’s second time golfing.  If we keep up this trend, Dallin will be a pretty good golfer by the time he is two.  :)



Dallin and his daddy who LOVES to golf.



Me, the designated baby holder, and golf cart driver.  (Dallin is enjoying his beauty rest.)



David, the very serious golfer.







We love how quiet and serene golf courses are.  I only had to be reminded 29 times to keep my voice down.  Golf courses are kind of like libraries . . . a lot of serious people using their quiet voices.

Kyaha, January 2, 2000 to October 3, 2008 October 4, 2008

Posted by Emily in : Church, Family, Islands, My Former Dog Children, Princess Hannah, Saba, Texas, Thoughts, Trips, Utah , 4comments

For the past two days, I have been walking around with big bags under my eyes and a serious sinus headache.  I wish it was possible to grieve without crying.  I hate feeling like my head is going to explode.

My little princess dog Kyaha, succumbed to cancer yesterday.  Six months ago she was diagnosed with the disease, but I was too emotional to address it on my blog.  Today, I’m going to try to be a grown woman and talk about my feelings, and the reality that Kyaha is no longer with us.

I was raised to believe all animals were dirty, yucky, disease carrying creatures that would infect you.   Growing up, there was a stinky horse pasture across the street from my parents’ house.  I never once reached out my hand to pet the horses in fear of contracting a disease that would kill off not only me, but my entire family.  Animals were strictly meant for other people, or the zoo.

A little over eight years ago I said to David, “Maybe we should get a dog.”  Why?  I have no idea.  David knew he had about two hours to find and secure a dog for our family before I changed my mind.  He quickly researched breeds and decided a Whippet (which is a VERY lazy dog that sleeps about 20 hours a day) would be the perfect dog for us.

Breeds?  What were breeds?  Weren’t all dogs mutts?  I had no idea dogs came papered and with a pedigree.  Clearly, I was way under-qualified to own a dog.  My passing thought of being a dog owner was not thought out.  Not only did I not know the first thing about caring for a dog, I certainly didn’t think about the future.  How long dogs live and how much a part of your family they become.  I thought it would be nice to see one on the patio, maybe walk it, or throw it a ball.  I NEVER imagined touching it, let alone allowing it into my home.

Kyaha changed everything.  When we picked her up at three months old, I was scared of her.  She looked like a baby deer, RUNNING around her owner’s house.  With my ghost white face, and body language that clearly stated “I DON’T TOUCH DOGS,” I’m surprised the previous owner let us walk out with her. I could never have anticipated how much this dog would mean to me, or how much she would change my life and open my heart.

We brought our new not-potty-trained-indoor-dog home; who puked in the car every time she got in it.  (Once, I almost threw her out the window because she wouldn’t stop puking.)  Adapting to life with us, she followed me around.  EVERYWHERE.  She trotted two steps behind me from room to room.  My biggest complaint to David was, “TELL THAT DOG TO STOP FOLLOWING ME!”

As the weeks and months passed, I eased into being a doggie-mom.  Unable to have children at that time, we treated Kyaha as our firstborn child.  She very quickly became everything to us.  Whippets are like potato chips, you can’t have just one.  Nine months later, David picked up our second Whippet, Paris, from a breeder in Southern California.  The two dogs instantly became best friends.

Both of our dogs (I used to refer to them as “our girls” until we had Hannah and then it got really confusing when I talked about them to other people.) traveled with us everywhere.  During Kyaha’s eight short years, her life was full.  She lived in Utah, Arizona, Texas, and the Caribbean.  She has traveled through Nevada, Oklahoma, Kansas, Florida, Colorado, Wyoming, and New Mexico.  She has been to the Dutch and French West Indies on the island of Sint Maarten, and of course she loved every sun-bathing second living on the island of Saba.  She has flown commercially, and on a charter plane.  She has been on a commuter boat, braving the treacherous sea between Saba and Sint Maarten.  She has played on Caribbean beaches, soaked up the Saba sun, run in dog races in Utah and Texas, and explored the Utah mountains.  She has even been to The Four Corners.

Yesterday, David had the very sad job of taking Kyaha to the vet to have her put down.  When she was diagnosed with cancer back in May, we had no idea how much longer she had to live.  It could have been two more weeks or two more years.  It ended up being five months.  On Friday, Kyaha lost the ability to run after her beloved tennis ball when the cancer affected her leg making it difficult to walk.  Knowing that she was in pain, we knew it was time.  I would love to have kept her around for selfish reasons, but that would have been just plain disrespectful to her.

We had a nice little funeral for her.  David found a perfect spot for her to rest until we meet again.  Hannah was very intrigued by the emotions that freely flowed from both David and me yesterday.  She exclaimed over and over again, “Mommy sad!  HUG HER!  Kyaha with Heavenly Fodder (father)!”  She has been such a ray of sunshine for us.  She keeps calling out for Kyaha every time she drops food and Paris keeps showing up.  Not one to be fooled, she yells at Paris, “NO! OTHER ONE!”  You just can’t fool a two year old.

I cannot kiss, hug, or snuggle my other dog Paris enough to compensate for the void in my heart left by Kyaha.  While having Paris around brings me much comfort, she still is not Kyaha.  How I would love to have Kyaha follow me from room to room just one more time.  I would love to have one more chance to take her into the mountains and watch her chase anything and everything; let her compete in one more dog race, eat one more yogurt.  I will miss nuzzling my nose into her fur, and seeing her chocolate brown puppy dog eyes looking at me.  I already miss her bringing her tennis ball to me and dropping it in my lap.

I believe there are three kingdoms in heaven, and all animals automatically enter the highest kingdom. I  hope and pray that I live a life worthy enough to enter that kingdom because I fully expect to see her running toward me at 35 mph to cover me in wet dog licks.  I want to feel her soft velvety fur through my fingers, and kiss the top of her head.  I miss her smell, and the scent of her paws.  I expect the welcome of a lifetime when I see her again.

She was very special to David and me.  As I mourn her loss, I will miss her over the months to come.  She will always have a special place in my heart.