Kyaha, January 2, 2000 to October 3, 2008 October 4, 2008
Posted by Emily in : Church, Family, Islands, My Former Dog Children, Princess Hannah, Saba, Texas, Thoughts, Trips, Utah , trackbackFor the past two days, I have been walking around with big bags under my eyes and a serious sinus headache. I wish it was possible to grieve without crying. I hate feeling like my head is going to explode.
My little princess dog Kyaha, succumbed to cancer yesterday. Six months ago she was diagnosed with the disease, but I was too emotional to address it on my blog. Today, I’m going to try to be a grown woman and talk about my feelings, and the reality that Kyaha is no longer with us.
I was raised to believe all animals were dirty, yucky, disease carrying creatures that would infect you. Growing up, there was a stinky horse pasture across the street from my parents’ house. I never once reached out my hand to pet the horses in fear of contracting a disease that would kill off not only me, but my entire family. Animals were strictly meant for other people, or the zoo.
A little over eight years ago I said to David, “Maybe we should get a dog.” Why? I have no idea. David knew he had about two hours to find and secure a dog for our family before I changed my mind. He quickly researched breeds and decided a Whippet (which is a VERY lazy dog that sleeps about 20 hours a day) would be the perfect dog for us.
Breeds? What were breeds? Weren’t all dogs mutts? I had no idea dogs came papered and with a pedigree. Clearly, I was way under-qualified to own a dog. My passing thought of being a dog owner was not thought out. Not only did I not know the first thing about caring for a dog, I certainly didn’t think about the future. How long dogs live and how much a part of your family they become. I thought it would be nice to see one on the patio, maybe walk it, or throw it a ball. I NEVER imagined touching it, let alone allowing it into my home.
Kyaha changed everything. When we picked her up at three months old, I was scared of her. She looked like a baby deer, RUNNING around her owner’s house. With my ghost white face, and body language that clearly stated “I DON’T TOUCH DOGS,” I’m surprised the previous owner let us walk out with her. I could never have anticipated how much this dog would mean to me, or how much she would change my life and open my heart.
We brought our new not-potty-trained-indoor-dog home; who puked in the car every time she got in it. (Once, I almost threw her out the window because she wouldn’t stop puking.) Adapting to life with us, she followed me around. EVERYWHERE. She trotted two steps behind me from room to room. My biggest complaint to David was, “TELL THAT DOG TO STOP FOLLOWING ME!”
As the weeks and months passed, I eased into being a doggie-mom. Unable to have children at that time, we treated Kyaha as our firstborn child. She very quickly became everything to us. Whippets are like potato chips, you can’t have just one. Nine months later, David picked up our second Whippet, Paris, from a breeder in Southern California. The two dogs instantly became best friends.
Both of our dogs (I used to refer to them as “our girls” until we had Hannah and then it got really confusing when I talked about them to other people.) traveled with us everywhere. During Kyaha’s eight short years, her life was full. She lived in Utah, Arizona, Texas, and the Caribbean. She has traveled through Nevada, Oklahoma, Kansas, Florida, Colorado, Wyoming, and New Mexico. She has been to the Dutch and French West Indies on the island of Sint Maarten, and of course she loved every sun-bathing second living on the island of Saba. She has flown commercially, and on a charter plane. She has been on a commuter boat, braving the treacherous sea between Saba and Sint Maarten. She has played on Caribbean beaches, soaked up the Saba sun, run in dog races in Utah and Texas, and explored the Utah mountains. She has even been to The Four Corners.
Yesterday, David had the very sad job of taking Kyaha to the vet to have her put down. When she was diagnosed with cancer back in May, we had no idea how much longer she had to live. It could have been two more weeks or two more years. It ended up being five months. On Friday, Kyaha lost the ability to run after her beloved tennis ball when the cancer affected her leg making it difficult to walk. Knowing that she was in pain, we knew it was time. I would love to have kept her around for selfish reasons, but that would have been just plain disrespectful to her.
We had a nice little funeral for her. David found a perfect spot for her to rest until we meet again. Hannah was very intrigued by the emotions that freely flowed from both David and me yesterday. She exclaimed over and over again, “Mommy sad! HUG HER! Kyaha with Heavenly Fodder (father)!” She has been such a ray of sunshine for us. She keeps calling out for Kyaha every time she drops food and Paris keeps showing up. Not one to be fooled, she yells at Paris, “NO! OTHER ONE!” You just can’t fool a two year old.
I cannot kiss, hug, or snuggle my other dog Paris enough to compensate for the void in my heart left by Kyaha. While having Paris around brings me much comfort, she still is not Kyaha. How I would love to have Kyaha follow me from room to room just one more time. I would love to have one more chance to take her into the mountains and watch her chase anything and everything; let her compete in one more dog race, eat one more yogurt. I will miss nuzzling my nose into her fur, and seeing her chocolate brown puppy dog eyes looking at me. I already miss her bringing her tennis ball to me and dropping it in my lap.
I believe there are three kingdoms in heaven, and all animals automatically enter the highest kingdom. I hope and pray that I live a life worthy enough to enter that kingdom because I fully expect to see her running toward me at 35 mph to cover me in wet dog licks. I want to feel her soft velvety fur through my fingers, and kiss the top of her head. I miss her smell, and the scent of her paws. I expect the welcome of a lifetime when I see her again.
She was very special to David and me. As I mourn her loss, I will miss her over the months to come. She will always have a special place in my heart.
Comments»
Oh Emily and David, we are so sad to hear about the loss of Kyaha, she was such a sweet and loving dog, I still think of her and Paris. I hope you guys are going to be alright, I know how hard it is to lose a pet who is so amazing. Our thoughts are with you all.
Oh, I’m sad for you. I remember meeting Kyaha when she was just a little thing and all shivery with excitement. I hope you feel better.
Dang it, Emily. You made ME cry. The day I heard about Kyaha, I bought senior citizen dog vitamins for my fluff-mutt, Baxter.
I am gonna miss your sweet “girl”. My other-species neice. Rest in peace, sweet Kyaha.
Im so sorry….having lost several childhood pets I know it can be heartbreaking…HOWEVER- when my ex and I got married we bought our keeva- a rhodesidan ridgeback…she was our baby as well. we did loure coursing with her, she camped with us, went everywhere…she is still with us( or him I should say) 7 yrs old this year. I miss her desperately everyday. Its hard enough sharing custody with a child but having the dog go back and forth seemed a little odd:) Anyway I think about the day she will no longer be here and I start to cry…she was so good with Eljiah so protective that she will always be my “girl”. Sorry again for the loss.
BTW- I took my blog private if you feel inclined send me an email and Ill add you to the list for access. Take care!